Want to Make Brilliant Career Decisions? Stop Trying so Hard!

In years of coaching adults confronting difficult career decisions, I have observed one common denominator: this stuff is HARD, and many otherwise bright, capable people struggle mightily with it.  If you feel that way, believe me, you have lots of company.

Buy why?  Why is this stuff so blasted difficult?

Sometimes it's a matter of unrealistic expectations.  We say: "I want to make a career decision." but what we really mean is: "I want to have complete certainty that my decision will be RIGHT, and that I'll never regret it!".   The former, yes.  The latter, not so much unless you have a crystal ball.  And you never change or grow.

Sometimes we pile on heavy pressures to already-difficult decisions.  "I have to stop screwing around and decide what I'm going to be for the rest of my life!".  Ack! Who could make a healthy, creative decision with that kind of pressurized, judgmental voice in their head?  (Not me.)  Ask yourself this:  Ten years ago, could I have predicted what I would be doing today, or how I would feel about it?  If your answer is "No way!", then consider this:  you also probably can't predict what you'll be doing ten years from now, or how you'll feel about that.  It's unknowable, and laboring over it is simply a waste of time and energy.

So am I anti-career planning?  Of course not.  We must make decisions, and the best ones we are capable of.  I would just suggest that you modify the question.  A better option, one that we can really have a hope of answering with authenticity and integrity, might just be this one:

"What would be fun to try next?"

Sound a little frivolous?  Maybe, not 'serious' enough?  Let's look more closely:

"FUN" is not frivolous.  We don't have to lose sleep worrying about what we consider "fun"; we just know it.  Our intuition about what gives us joy and pleasure is very reliable and accurate.  That's what makes it so important.  In moments of life decision, trusting your intuition is vital.  When you think about imponderables like "What am I going to BE when I grow up?", most people, quite reasonably, freeze up.  It's heavy, requires fortune-telling, and it makes your brains hurt.  On the other hand, consider, "What do I like to do for fun?" and bingo! Instant-answers appear!  We loosen up, and may even get creative. It's not hard.  We know the answer, and we trust that our answer is just right.

"TRY" is another key word.  We can't know for sure if our career decisions will be everything we hope.  In fact, they probably won't.  Most jobs have their downside, and the grass has a way of being kind of imperfect on the other side.  But most of us are o.k. with giving something a try.  If we think we are committing for a lifetime, we might lock up with indecision.  Procrastinate, delay... you know.  So it's helpful to lighten up;  it's o.k. to TRY something, and know that if it doesn't work out (or even if it does!) you can TRY something else.  Hey, life is a buffet, and a lot of stuff might look good!  Let's try a few things.

"NEXT" is the final, vital word.  Not always, not forever -- just 'NEXT'.  Next implies that your career is a story with, in all likelihood, many chapters.  What you do next will take you to forks in the road that you can't possibly see from here.  But you can trust that, if you choose what to do next with integrity, you'll know what road to take when that time comes.

So if you're struggling with life and career questions, unsure and unhappy with your lot in life, maybe it's time to lighten up a little.  Life is, to quote John Lennon, what happens while we're busy making other plans. Stop trying to figure out what you can't possibly know, and ask yourself something that only YOU know: what would be fun?  To just try.  Next.  You might be surprised how easy some big decisions seem when you shift from 'working at it' to 'easing into it'.

The Ladder of Inference

If you love lots of drama in your life, stop reading this now.

Here's a phenomenon I've been talking to my clients about lately.    It explains how we create a lot of drama and anguish for ourselves and others, usually without being aware of it.  It's important to understand, because, if you do, you can save yourself (and others) a lot of that unnecessary pain, anguish, bad decisions and, oh, the drama. 

It's called the "ladder of inference".  This concept was introduced by Chris Argyris, a brilliant thinker in the field of Organizational Development.  You can picture this as a ladder, and we work our way from the bottom, up.

Here's how it goes.  1. We observe something... maybe it's something someone does that we find annoying or troubling. 2. Our brain filters out and only considers part of the data from what we observed.  This filter is usually a factor of our internal biases, prejudices and negative emotions.  Yuck. So we... 4.  "embellish" the facts with some of our own "meaning", usually cultural and personal.  Can you see where this is going?  NOT GOOD!  Next, we 5. Make Assumptions, based on the meaning we just ascribed.  And it's flawed.  But we don't see that.  So we...6. Draw Conclusions, based on incorrect assumptions, which themselves flowed from erroneous meaning.  As a result of all of this, we 7. Adopt or Reinforce Beliefs about the world.  "All men are jerks!", or "You can't get good help!"... that sort of thing.  And finally, we 8. Take Action, based on our incorrect beliefs.  All of this can happen in a few seconds.  It all takes us from a fact to a decision or action.  Usually a damaging, incorrect decision or action.

The Ladder of Inference describes the thinking process that we go through, usually without realizing it, to get from a fact to a decision or action. The thinking stages can be seen as rungs on a ladder and are shown in Figure 1. - See more at: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm#sthash.SjUl3UDM.dpuf

Understanding the Theory:

The Ladder of Inference describes the thinking process that we go through, usually without realizing it, to get from a fact to a decision or action. The thinking stages can be seen as rungs on a ladder and are shown in Figure 1.

Starting at the bottom of the ladder, we have reality and facts. From there, we:

• Experience these selectively based on our beliefs and prior experience.
• Interpret what they mean.
• Apply our existing assumptions, sometimes without considering them.
• Draw conclusions based on the interpreted facts and our assumptions.
• Develop beliefs based on these conclusions.
• Take actions that seem "right" because they are based on what we believe.

This can create a vicious circle. Our beliefs have a big effect on how we select from reality, and can lead us to ignore the true facts altogether. Soon we are literally jumping to conclusions – by missing facts and skipping steps in the reasoning process.
By using the Ladder of Inference, you can learn to get back to the facts and use your beliefs and experiences to positive effect, rather than allowing them to narrow your field of judgment. Following this step-by-step reasoning can lead you to better results, based on reality, so avoiding unnecessary mistakes and conflict.
- See more at: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm#sthash.SjUl3UDM.dpuf

Understanding the Theory:

The Ladder of Inference describes the thinking process that we go through, usually without realizing it, to get from a fact to a decision or action. The thinking stages can be seen as rungs on a ladder and are shown in Figure 1.

Starting at the bottom of the ladder, we have reality and facts. From there, we:

• Experience these selectively based on our beliefs and prior experience.
• Interpret what they mean.
• Apply our existing assumptions, sometimes without considering them.
• Draw conclusions based on the interpreted facts and our assumptions.
• Develop beliefs based on these conclusions.
• Take actions that seem "right" because they are based on what we believe.

This can create a vicious circle. Our beliefs have a big effect on how we select from reality, and can lead us to ignore the true facts altogether. Soon we are literally jumping to conclusions – by missing facts and skipping steps in the reasoning process.
By using the Ladder of Inference, you can learn to get back to the facts and use your beliefs and experiences to positive effect, rather than allowing them to narrow your field of judgment. Following this step-by-step reasoning can lead you to better results, based on reality, so avoiding unnecessary mistakes and conflict.
- See more at: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm#sthash.SjUl3UDM.dpuf

  
Ever catch yourself climbing this 'Ladder of Inference"?  If you do... GREAT!  That's the first step.  When we become aware that we do it, we begin to have other choices.

Cheers,
-Ed

Understanding the Theory:

The Ladder of Inference describes the thinking process that we go through, usually without realizing it, to get from a fact to a decision or action. The thinking stages can be seen as rungs on a ladder and are shown in Figure 1.

Starting at the bottom of the ladder, we have reality and facts. From there, we:

• Experience these selectively based on our beliefs and prior experience.
• Interpret what they mean.
• Apply our existing assumptions, sometimes without considering them.
• Draw conclusions based on the interpreted facts and our assumptions.
• Develop beliefs based on these conclusions.
• Take actions that seem "right" because they are based on what we believe.

This can create a vicious circle. Our beliefs have a big effect on how we select from reality, and can lead us to ignore the true facts altogether. Soon we are literally jumping to conclusions – by missing facts and skipping steps in the reasoning process.
By using the Ladder of Inference, you can learn to get back to the facts and use your beliefs and experiences to positive effect, rather than allowing them to narrow your field of judgment. Following this step-by-step reasoning can lead you to better results, based on reality, so avoiding unnecessary mistakes and conflict.
- See more at: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm#sthash.SjUl3UDM.dpuf

The Power of Commitment

Feel like you have a mountain to climb? Maybe you’ll find some inspiration from someone who actually climbed the Himalayas! Although the language is a little flowery, I love this quote. A copy has hung right in front of me at my workspace for over ten years. These words never fail to inspire me, and remind me that mountains teach us how to climb them… once we start the journey.
Enjoy!
-Ed

– BEGIN –

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

‘Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!’

Scottish mountaineer, William Hutchinson Murray (1913-1996), from his 1951 book entitled "The Scottish Himalayan Expedition".